A visit to Bonn closes a circle of 18 years. It was good to see Charlotte and Eva again. Both are happily married with great husbands that suit them well. Little Lina is a cutie!

Leo tried again and again to capture Lina’s attention. In the end he suceeded with a water spitting contest on the terrace.

The kids like the piano and Jan’s fingerplay.

Much of life is about choosing who we spend our time with. Sometimes we are not aware of these choices or let other people make them for us. But which ever path you take, life is best spent in the company of people who value beeing with you.

See all the pictures of our visit to Bonn.

After several failures and disappointing experiences with professional home daycare providers, I lost my job and began to wonder, if I had made some serious parenting errors. Had I spoiled Leo with too much attention? Especially by letting him sleep in my bed and answering to his every cry, instead of letting him cry himself to sleep in his own bed?

My parenting decisions have been intuition-based. I try to keep my eyes, ears, and mind open to Leo and let my heart guide my responses (or non-responses). My intention is to give Leo constant, unconditional love and support. For me this also means not leaving him alone until he is mature enough to feel secure without me. I believe that this will promote Leo’s long-term happiness, self-esteem and independence. In times of doubt, I felt encouraged by the promoters of attachment parenting and co-sleeping.

Then in January a new opportunity arose: Leo was invited to join the Hedwig Mäuse, a play group on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. The Hedwig Mäuse aim to prepare children for kindergarten by helping the children and their parents cope with their first separation. Would Leo stay in the play group without me?

Every child is different. Some children cling to their parents and need more time to adjust to a new environment. Others are more curious and quickly feel at home in new surroundings. Leo belongs to the later group. Almost immediately he was off playing and interacting with others.

During the first weeks, one by one, the parents of the other newcomers eased out of the group, but seemingly independent Leo would not let me slip out with them. When I disappeared he reacted hysterically. It became apparent to me that Leo strength and independence are derived from his secure attachment to me and I would not be able to leave until Leo was able to bond with his new caregivers and consciously say goodbye to me.

I worked with Leo to raise his awareness of the Hedwig Mäuse caregivers, Petra and Ulrike, by pointing them out to him over and over again and especially by saying goodbye to each of them individually. As Leo slowly established trust in Petra and Ulrike, he was able to turn to them more and more when problems or insecurities arose. Gradually, through respectful and responsive interaction, Leo was able to bond with his new caregivers and I was able to leave the room for longer and longer periods of “I’ll be right back”. Finally, I could see that it was time for me to make the next move and say goodbye to Leo.

The first day I said goodbye and left Leo cried, but not for very long. When I heard that his crying was sad, but no longer hysterical, I knew that things would be alright. The second time I said goodbye to Leo, I explained to him that I would go and he would stay here with Petra and Ulrike. Leo understood me and protested. I remained cheerful, but firm and didn’t drag out my departure. The third time I said goodbye to Leo, he gave me a kiss back and said goodbye too. I was so proud, I left the room in tears.

Ever since that day Leo said goodbye to me at the Hedwig Mäuse playgroup with an air of cheerful confidence. Others were even amazed by his big, happy goodbye smile. He never relapsed into any kind of clingy behavior. Even after the Easter break, when some of the older children renewed their efforts to hang on to their parents, Leo’s self assurance was unwavering. I will always be grateful for the love and dedication with which Petra and Ulrike supported Leo on his path to independence.

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Children love singing accompanied by fingerplay. The morning circle is part of the Hedwig Mäuse daily routine and it is beautiful to see how attentive the children are:

Ten O’clock is snack time:

Favorite activities:

The Hedwig Mäuse have been an important stepping stone in Leo’s learning to communicate and get along with others. Petra and Ulrike were very attentive and supportive to the children, always encouraging feelings of empathy and respect. During this half year Leo has learned not to hit other children or take their toys away (for the most part). He has found ways to engage other kids in mutually satisfying play and sometimes even practices sharing.

Mommy’s Hedwig Mäuse Song:

We’re going to the Hedwig Mäuse, Hedwig Mäuse, Hedwig Mäuse!
We’re going to the Hedwig Mäuse!
Who are we going to see there?
Who are we going to see there?
We’re going to see Ulrike and Petra and Leif,
Charlotte and Ove,
Lilly and Lynn,
Jana and Carla,
Louis, Johannes,
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiila
and Anastasia.

After the summer vacation Leo will start kindergarten. We will miss the Hedwig Mäuse.

See more Hedwig Mäuse pictures.

On the street everyone agrees: it’s officially spring in Puddingtown. My little patch of Woodruff is already in bloom. With the onset of warmer weather, Leo is constantly bringing us his shoes and demanding to go out; even 5 minutes after returning home from a long session at the playground. Understandably, Leo is absolutely nuts about being outdoors and has prompted us to reevaluate the question of having a garden.

I am spending long afternoons at the playground and on the weekend Jan goes on extended walks with Leo around town. One of our favorite places to go these days is the “Heimat-Tierpark Olderdissen”. This local zoo is just a 20 minute walk from our place and has over 430 animals, 100 different species, most of them native to northern Europe.

On the Saturday before Easter we went to Olerdissen with Ilka.

It was a relaxing day for everyone. See more pictures taken at Olerdissen.

Leo has a lot to say these days. While most of his speech is unintelligible, sometimes even sounding like a foreign tongue, we have managed to decipher some of Leo’s current vocabulary. Popular words are: mama, papa, ilka (pronounced ka-ka), bye, tschüss, bus (pronounced busch), three (pronounced tee), mehr, bear, hallo, choo-choo, train (pronounced ain), spongebob (pronounced ponta), ball, nein, pee-pee, heiss, up and down.

Other things are communicated by imitating the sound they make, for example pig, car, dog, bird, horse, cow, sheep, duck, mouse, food processor, juicer and drink (a gulping sound which Leo employs when he is thirsty). Leo will even put two of these together, for example “mama” + “juicer sound” to let Jan know that Mommy made juice today.

Leo also still uses the baby signs for elephant, rain, loud, listen, finished and more or “I want that”. Below Leo is using his “more”-sign to ask Jan for some bread and giving his new bunny “Jimmy” something to drink.

See more Easter weekend pictures.

Today Jan celebrated his Birthday with a brunch at the local Brauhaus. We had a delightful, relaxing day. No shopping, no cooking, no cleaning up. Just lots of time to sit with friends and let our batteries recharge.

Leo had much fun watching the older kids play and tried very hard to be a part of everything.

More pictures of Jan’s celebration >>

Today is Rosenmontag (“running Monday“), the highlight of the German carnival season, which begins at 11 minutes past the eleventh hour on the 11th of November. Carnival is not a national holiday in Germany and since Puddingtown is not even a carnival stronghold (like Cologne, Düsseldorf, Aachen or Mainz) schools are open and for most people it’s business like usual. But many schools and companies have celebrations and lots of kids wear costumes to school.

So on this rainy Rosenmontag Leo got dressed up for his gym group with a home made hat and a makeshift costume. Although barely able to understand their costumes, all the toddlers were excited about “looking special”. What is Leo supposed to be?

See more Rosenmontag pictures.

On December 6th we celebrated “Nikolaus” (Saint Nicholas Day). In Germany it’s a festival  for kids. They get to put their shoes or boots (the bigger, the better) outside the door on the 5th, and at night St. Nikolaus fills them with little gifts.

Another tradition kept on this day is baking (or just eating) a “Stutenkerl“, which is a man made of yeast dough with a clay pipe. Here Leo is disassembling his Stutenkerl.

From Leo’s window we watched firemen use a crane to put up a large Christmas tree on the square in front of our house.

Leo’s aunt Ilka and great-aunt Anita paid us a visit. Dinner was chicken curry with rice.

Leo and Anita got along well. Leo’s initial shyness was quickly overcome by the attention Anita lavished upon him. He responded to her with open curiosity and his own blend of humorous interaction. It’s wonderful to take the back seat and watch Leo grow into relationships with the people around him.

Anita brought lot’s of stuff for Leo including a bunch of Lego that we all had fun with.

See more Nikolaus pictures.

I have shamelessly backdated this post to the date of Leo’s first birthday party. As a child I wondered what my first birthdays were like. Were they even celebrated? Did grownups gather in my name? Did I get presents?
I promised Leo that he would be able to check out all his birthdays.

We had a small celebration for Leo with Ilka, Thomas, Babsi, Stefan, our neighbor Andrea and her son Marlon, who is just one week younger than Leo.

Leo received some very nice gifts: a stuffed pig called “Pigglet”, a wooden Xylophone, a joker with bells, a yellow dump truck and a Duplo train. But in general he was more interested in the wrapping paper.

I made an egg, dairy and gluten free applesauce cake. Flax seed contains no gluten and turns out to be an amazingly good substitute for egg in a cake. Andrea liked the cake so much, she made it again a week later for Marlon. Here’s the recipe:

1 cup margarine (I use sunflower)
2 cups brown sugar (the sugar should be dark and flavorful, but you can use less)
2 cups applesauce
3 1/2 cups buckwheat flour
2 heaping Tbsp whole flax seed (replaces 2 eggs)
2 tsp baking soda
3 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp salt

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Grind the flax seed in a coffee mill until it becomes a fine meal. Mix the flax seed meal with 1/2 cup water in a small bowl. Let the mixture sit for at least two to three minutes to thicken it. Combine all the dry ingredients. Cream the margarine and sugar (I use a food processor). Add the applesauce. Add the flax seed mixture. Add the dry ingredients. Pour the batter into a 9×13 pan and bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. After about 20 minutes I cover the cake with aluminum foil to prevent it from getting burned.

More pictures of Leo’s first Birthday Party.

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Leonards erster Geburtstagskuchen
(ohne Milchprodukte, ohne Eier, ohne Gluten)
Die gesunden Leinsamen ersetzen in diesem Rezept 2 Eier und machen den glutenfreien Teig klebrig.

225 g zum Backen geeignete Margarine
450 g Vollrohrzucker (z. B. Bio Mascobado von GEPA ist sehr aromatisch), es kann auch weniger Zucker verwendet werden
450 g Apfelmus
420 g Buchweizenmehl
2 Eßlöffel Leinsamen, ganzes Korn
2 Teelöffel (10 g) Baking Soda bzw. Natron
3 Teelöffel Zimt
1 Teelöffel Salz

Backofen auf 190°C vorheizen. Leinsamen in der elektrischen Kaffeemühle zu feinem Mehl mahlen, dann in einer kleinen Schale mit 120 ml Wasser verrühren und stehen lassen damit sich ein Schleim bildet. Buchweizenmehl mit Natron, Zimt und Salz gut vermischen. Margarine und Zucker in der Küchenmaschine oder mit einem Handrührer schaumig schlagen. Apfelmus kurz untermischen. Leinsamen-Schleim kurz untermischen. Mehl kurz untermischen. Den Teig in die vorbereitete Kuchenform (ca. 28 cm) füllen und 35-45 Min. backen. Der Kuchen ist fertig wenn am Stäbchen nichts kleben bleibt. Nach ungefähr 20 Min. Backzeit lege ich Alufolie über den Kuchen damit er von oben nicht verbrennt.

We traveled to Bonn to bid farewell to Tony and Alison. Leo did his very best to heighten our spirits and entertain us during the train ride.

Alison met us at the station for a tour of downtown Bonn. We recommend the smoked “Butterfisch” (Rock gunnel) and “Nordsee-Krabben” buns at the fish stand on the main market. We enjoyed a stroll through the Botanic Garden by the 18th century, Baroque Poppelsdorfer Schloss (aka Clemensruh Palace).

In the evening Tony made an inspirational, one vegetable, no-meat Asian stir-fry. It tasted unbelievably good. Back in Bielefeld Jan and I have made several green bean stir-frys (with meat), each time with a new take on the sauce.

Together with Alison, our backpacks ready for a day at the spa, we decided to visit the Baroque Schloss Brühl (aka Augustusburg), in a small town near Cologne.

A current exhibition on the high-level government receptions and dinners that were held here from 1949-1996 made it possible for us to roam freely through the palace and take an illegal picture of Leo on Queen Elisabeth’s Clean-O-Mat, a toilet with a douche and blow dryer. When the Queen visited Schloss Brühl in 1965 her royal protocol required the installation of this special toilet. Interestingly, the toilet remained installed until 1978, when Queen Elisabeth returned and her new protocol required the installation of a normal toilet, which is still in place today.

The next day we got an early start and thanks to Alison caught the boat to take us up the Rhein to Königswinter. Up on deck Leo was at first wary of and then fascinated by the large body of dark green water. We had sun, rain, sandwiches and umbrellas.

Königswinter with it’s hotel promenade along the waterfront has been a tourist destination since the late 18th century. The town seemed surprisingly empty for a nice summer day and I wondered if the romantic Rhine, next to the Oktoberfest the embodiment of German for foreign tourists, has fallen out of vogue.

In Königswinter we took the Drachenfelsbahn, a 125 year old rack or cog railway, to the summit of the Drachenfels (literally: Dragon Rock). According to the Nibelungen, this is where Siegfried, crown prince of Xanten, slayed the dragon and bathed in its blood to become invulnerable. This landmark of the Siebengebirge is crowned by the ruins of the 12th century castle Drachenfels. We enjoyed the view.

“The castled crag of Drachenfels
Frowns o’er the wide and winding Rhine,
Whose breast of waters broadly swells
Between the banks which bear the vine,
And hills all rich with blossom’d trees,
And fields which promise corn and wine,
And scatter’d cities crowning these,
Whose far white walls along them shine,
Have strew’d a scene, which I should see
With double joy wert thou with me.”
- Lord Byron, 1818 (the whole poem)

After Alison left us to go to work at the Deutsche Welle, we headed downhill to Schloss Drachenburg, appropriately dubbed the “Rhine- land’s Neuschwanstein”.

This Disney-esque castle, a romantic work of art from the period of promoterism (Gründerzeit), was built around 1883 by Stephan Sarter, the son of a Bonn-based restaurant owner, who became wealthy as a stock broker.

The castle reflects the lifestyle of the upper classes at the end of the 19th century. I really liked the sitting room with a beautiful view of the Rhine valley.

After several days in and around Bonn the town is growing on us. Especially the walk from Tony and Alison’s place down town and back along the Rhine.

At the “Bahnhöfchen”, a waterfront cafe, they won’t serve you a pizza before 6 pm, but they’ll make you a good “Pfannkuchen” anytime.
(I recommend a “Schinken-Pfannkuchen” with apples.)

These and other seemingly arbitrary rules about when/where you can order certain food and drink are abundant in Bonn. As when Alison tried to order a coffee out on deck during our boat ride. It was not possible, presumably because the cheap chinaware might break. But to our surprise others on deck were able to order Wine served in real wine glasses. Perhaps these are the defenses of a quiet, middle-sized town against the sudden onslaught of foreigners brought about by hosting the nation’s capital from 1949 until 1990?

In the evening, after failing to catch our train home, we finally “did the boat”:

The boat, a prominent eye-catcher just off the Kennedy bridge, is the Chinese Restaurant “Ocean Paradise”. Don’t go for the food, but enjoy the view, especially when the boat takes off for a little spin.

See all of our Bonn pictures. Tony and Alison posted some pictures as well.

Now Tony and Alison are back in the US. Germany feels empty without them.

With the grand finale of the Euro 2008 soccer championships — Germany versus Spain — serving as a backdrop, Tony and Alison’s last visit to Bielefeld was an old school family weekend.

Alison brought us Frank’s Original RedHot Sauce from the US so we could make authentic Buffalo wings with blue cheese dip. We tossed the chicken wings in flour, salt, paprika, garlic powder, cayenne and black peppers, and baked them for an hour at 400°F (200°C). Then Tony heated butter and hot sauce in a wok and stirred in the wings as soon as they came out of the oven. The wings were FANTASTIC. Jan liked them so much that he overate. The 4 of us ate almost 6.6 pounds (3kg) of chicken wings!

Alison and I made two retro desserts: German Kalte Schnauze and American Rice Crispy treats. Leibniz cookies are a main ingredient in a classic German party recipe known as “Kalter Hund” (cold dog) or “Kalte Schnauze” (cold snout). Watch 2 American students of German show you how to make Kalter Hund which looks like a cake but does not require any baking.

We spent a lazy Sunday afternoon at the public pool, although it wasn’t “Bratwurst weather”. American’s usually don’t go near a public pool when the temperature is this low, but our guests braved the elements and took a dip. Laying on the lawn is always cozier after a taking a swim.

For dinner we made “Student Lasagna”, something I have been wanting to have again ever since Philadelphia. It’s really easy: spread a baking sheet with corn chips, mix in some shredded cheese, cover with fried, spicy ground beef and kidney beans, and bake until cheese is melted. When it comes out of the oven, top it with salsa, tomatoes, avocado, sour cream, salad and cilantro and serve immediately.

After dinner Alison, Tony and Jan headed off to the stadium for a public viewing of the grand finale. Although I wasn’t able to watch the game, because I fell asleep while bringing Leo to bed, the minute I woke up, I knew that the German soccer team lost to Spain: the city was very, very quiet.

See more pictures of the “Old School Family Weekend” on Flickr.

Tony and Alison wrote about experiencing “Football Fever” in Germany and posted some pictures too.

Watch Alison and Leo dance to The Wiggles, one of the CDs Alison brought for Leo:

Our friends from Naples, Costantino and Simona, dropped by today. It’s always great to see them and we never have enough time to catch up on everything. They hadn’t seen Leo since he was 10 days old.

Leo had a lot of fun playing with Simona. He loved her high pitched Italian: “Piccolo Topolino!”

>> See more pictures from their visit.

What is Jan feeding Leo? Here’s a hint:

Some like it hot,

Some like it cold,

Some like it in the pot,

Nine days old.