Hedwig Mäuse

After several failures and disappointing experiences with professional home daycare providers, I lost my job and began to wonder, if I had made some serious parenting errors. Had I spoiled Leo with too much attention? Especially by letting him sleep in my bed and answering to his every cry, instead of letting him cry himself to sleep in his own bed?

My parenting decisions have been intuition-based. I try to keep my eyes, ears, and mind open to Leo and let my heart guide my responses (or non-responses). My intention is to give Leo constant, unconditional love and support. For me this also means not leaving him alone until he is mature enough to feel secure without me. I believe that this will promote Leo’s long-term happiness, self-esteem and independence. In times of doubt, I felt encouraged by the promoters of attachment parenting and co-sleeping.

Then in January a new opportunity arose: Leo was invited to join the Hedwig Mäuse, a play group on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. The Hedwig Mäuse aim to prepare children for kindergarten by helping the children and their parents cope with their first separation. Would Leo stay in the play group without me?

Every child is different. Some children cling to their parents and need more time to adjust to a new environment. Others are more curious and quickly feel at home in new surroundings. Leo belongs to the later group. Almost immediately he was off playing and interacting with others.

During the first weeks, one by one, the parents of the other newcomers eased out of the group, but seemingly independent Leo would not let me slip out with them. When I disappeared he reacted hysterically. It became apparent to me that Leo strength and independence are derived from his secure attachment to me and I would not be able to leave until Leo was able to bond with his new caregivers and consciously say goodbye to me.

I worked with Leo to raise his awareness of the Hedwig Mäuse caregivers, Petra and Ulrike, by pointing them out to him over and over again and especially by saying goodbye to each of them individually. As Leo slowly established trust in Petra and Ulrike, he was able to turn to them more and more when problems or insecurities arose. Gradually, through respectful and responsive interaction, Leo was able to bond with his new caregivers and I was able to leave the room for longer and longer periods of “I’ll be right back”. Finally, I could see that it was time for me to make the next move and say goodbye to Leo.

The first day I said goodbye and left Leo cried, but not for very long. When I heard that his crying was sad, but no longer hysterical, I knew that things would be alright. The second time I said goodbye to Leo, I explained to him that I would go and he would stay here with Petra and Ulrike. Leo understood me and protested. I remained cheerful, but firm and didn’t drag out my departure. The third time I said goodbye to Leo, he gave me a kiss back and said goodbye too. I was so proud, I left the room in tears.

Ever since that day Leo said goodbye to me at the Hedwig Mäuse playgroup with an air of cheerful confidence. Others were even amazed by his big, happy goodbye smile. He never relapsed into any kind of clingy behavior. Even after the Easter break, when some of the older children renewed their efforts to hang on to their parents, Leo’s self assurance was unwavering. I will always be grateful for the love and dedication with which Petra and Ulrike supported Leo on his path to independence.

————————o00o—-’(_)’—-o00o——————————

Children love singing accompanied by fingerplay. The morning circle is part of the Hedwig Mäuse daily routine and it is beautiful to see how attentive the children are:

Ten O’clock is snack time:

Favorite activities:

The Hedwig Mäuse have been an important stepping stone in Leo’s learning to communicate and get along with others. Petra and Ulrike were very attentive and supportive to the children, always encouraging feelings of empathy and respect. During this half year Leo has learned not to hit other children or take their toys away (for the most part). He has found ways to engage other kids in mutually satisfying play and sometimes even practices sharing.

Mommy’s Hedwig Mäuse Song:

We’re going to the Hedwig Mäuse, Hedwig Mäuse, Hedwig Mäuse!
We’re going to the Hedwig Mäuse!
Who are we going to see there?
Who are we going to see there?
We’re going to see Ulrike and Petra and Leif,
Charlotte and Ove,
Lilly and Lynn,
Jana and Carla,
Louis, Johannes,
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiila
and Anastasia.

After the summer vacation Leo will start kindergarten. We will miss the Hedwig Mäuse.

See more Hedwig Mäuse pictures.